


Sometimes love is not enough

by Queenofthebees



Category: A Song of Ice and Fire & Related Fandoms, A Song of Ice and Fire - George R. R. Martin, Game of Thrones (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-31
Updated: 2018-12-31
Packaged: 2019-10-01 07:52:16
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,493
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17240372
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Queenofthebees/pseuds/Queenofthebees
Summary: Sansa Stark could not fall in love with Podrick Payne.She had repeated it over and over ever since that night, when she had briefly savoured the feel of his hand in hers.Sansa Stark could not love Podrick Payne.But Alanye could.





	Sometimes love is not enough

**Author's Note:**

> This went a bit angsty and I'm sorry for that.

She caught Podrick’s eye as he entered the courtroom of The Eyrie. Instantly, she saw recognition flood his face and she felt her eyes widen. How could anyone from King’s Landing end up here? She gave her head the slightest shake, holding his gaze and praying he would not give away that he recognised her.

Thankfully, it was the largely built woman who spoke, her hand resting on the pommel of her sword.

“I am Brienne of Tarth. I recently heard of Lady Arryn’s demise and I give you my condolences my lord.” She bowed her head courteously. Petyr tilted his slightly in acknowledgement.

“I thank you,” he replied smoothly. “But I doubt you have come all this way to give me your well wishes.”

“No, I have come for Sansa Stark.”

Alayne stiffened, her eyes flickering to Petyr but he remained perfectly still, giving nothing away. “Sansa Stark? I hear she fled King’s Landing. She is likely dead by now.”

“I promised her mother that I would return her daughters to Winterfell,” Brienne replied. “I had hoped that perhaps Sansa had not heard about her aunt and would come here.”

“By all means,” Petyr responded, his arm swooping over the room. “Search all you like. There is no Sansa Stark here.”

No, she thought, meeting Podrick’s eyes once more. Not yet.

***

“Why do you hide?”

She stiffened at the sound of the voice, turning her head slightly from where it was bent in prayer. He was hovering at the entrance of the gardens, watching her silently.

“I’m sorry but you have mistaken me,” she replied sweetly, shifting back into prayer.

“A bastard girl can tell a nobody from a knight or Lord so easily that she knows not to address me as such?”

He had grown bolder since she had last seen him, she recalled rather fondly how he used to blush an alarming shade of red the few times she had spoken to him in the capital. She huffed, her eyes closing slowly at her own mistake.

“I am Alayne,” she insisted sharply, standing to look upon him, letting him know his place.

“Let us help you,” he replied, ignoring her tone. “You know me Sansa. You can trust me.”

“I can’t,” she whispered.

She couldn’t trust anyone, not even Petyr who had taken her from King’s Landing, she knew he was just using her for his own schemes. She couldn’t trust Harry either, not yet, not when she was still trying to win his heart and the Vale army.

And though she remembered Pod’s kindness in the capital, their mutual fear towards his relative, she could not stomach the thought of making the mistake of trusting the wrong person again.

***

“Jon Snow is marching upon Winterfell.”

She turned her face upwards, letting the snow fall upon her cheeks. Pod’s words should have been comforting. But they only seemed to cause her more despair and she felt the tears building behind her eyes, mixing with the snow melting on her lashes.

She shouldn’t have thought she could be reunited with her brother. She should have learned by now that life was not a song.

Jon wouldn’t have enough of an army to take on Ramsay Bolton. She didn’t know much about the Bolton bastard, but she had heard he wasn’t above tricks. If Jon were to meet him head on, he would be slaughtered for sure.

Harry would be able to call the knights to order, she thought but she grimaced at the thought of how she would have to convince him to do so. An early marriage most likely, to claim the rose of Winterfell for his own.

If it was the price to go home though, to save what remained of her family, she would endure it. She had learned long ago that love was not something she should come to expect anymore.

***

There was something delightful about sneaking around behind Petyr’s back.

He would wait for the outcome of the battle for Winterfell before making his next plans for her. Sansa, however, would not wait for her last remaining brother to die.

She still didn’t trust Harry enough to tell him the truth, but Pod and Brienne had slowly won her around in their insistence of bringing her home.

“You are sure you wish to marry Harry early?” Brienne asked with a concerned frown.

“Alliances are best strengthened with marriage,” Sansa replied. “Marrying Harry means that the Knights of the Vale will ride to Jon’s side with us.”

“You’ll make a pretty bride my lady,” Pod offered, that sweet blush on his cheeks.

The sight made her smile, reminded her of simpler times, when she had been a young girl who had blushed in such a way at all the sweetest songs and love stories. He was a good man, Pod, she thought sadly.

_If only he were a lord_

The thought struck her so suddenly, she stood from her chair with such quickness, she knocked it to the ground. Instantly, Pod was at her side and his concerned eyes roaming over her face as his hand grasped hers, steadying her.

“Forgive me,” she rasped, retracting her hand quickly as she felt the tingles in her fingers. “I am feeling rather ill. I’ll retire for the evening, if you’ll excuse me.”

“Of course, my lady,” Brienne responded with a curt nod.

“Shall I walk you to your chambers?” Pod asked, that sweet smile on his face, so eager to serve her.

“I’ll be fine, thank you Pod,” she assured him.

Casting another smile towards them both, she excused herself from the room and pulled the door shut behind her.

Lady Sansa Stark, key to the north, heir to the Northern throne, could not ever be with Podrick Payne, no matter how kind and sweet a man he was.

***

She would marry Harry as duty dictated her to.

For Winterfell, for the Starks. When she is reunited with Jon, Harry will never shame her again, she knew that much. She has heard rumours that Jon has become quite a skilled swordsman, and she has no doubt that should she ask it of him, Jon would become her sworn shield.

And he would prevent Harry from visiting beds of various women, would stop him claiming Winterfell through her and any children she would give him.

Pod would too, she thought with a soft smile. Kind, sweet Pod. And instantly her smile faded as she thought of how he had commented on the details of her dress, the blue matching her eyes. The fact he had noticed had made her blush like a young girl.

Sansa Stark could not fall in love with Podrick Payne.

She had repeated it over and over ever since that night, when she had briefly savoured the feel of his hand in hers.

Sansa Stark could not love Podrick Payne.

But Alanye could.

***

Men had tried to claim her every since her father was killed. Eager to tame the she-wolf and have a good obedient dog in its place. Sansa had long accepted that a lady’s feelings seldom counted in the world.

But Alayne could love who she wanted. She could kiss whoever she wanted.

And Pod, sweet Pod had tried to resist, gently pushed her back by the shoulders and looked at her with wide eyes and blushing cheeks.

“It isn’t right my lady,” he whispered.

“Not your lady,” she murmured. “Alayne.”

He shook his head, taking a step back. But she could see the way he holds himself. She has spent so long around men to know the looks of desire and want. Pod’s lust doesn’t disgust her the way others had, it is something rather pure. It is what made her know that she was right to do this after all.

Harry will be her husband, that much was true. But he would never love her the way she longed, not nearly as much as he would love Winterfell and the North handed to him.

She has only ever wanted to be loved for _her_.

“Please,” she begged, pressing her lips against his once more.

To be the one to give a kiss feels entirely different, she feels as though her whole body is alight with desire. He doesn’t push his tongue into her mouth or grip her hips hard as though leaving a mark of possession upon her.

But it makes he want to give and give and give.

She can feel the moment his resistance breaks, his arms tightened around her waist and pulled her closer and even as his mouth finally moved over hers, it remained soft, gentle, _loving._

In the morning, she could still feel his lips on her, on every inch of her and she couldn’t stop the smile spreading across her face, even as she returned to Harry’s side.

Sansa Stark would marry as duty dictated.

But she has known love at last, and that was enough.


End file.
